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License to Be

A doctor just gave me three days off to recover from a stomach virus, with instructions to rest as much as possible and eat cooked vegetables and crackers with chamomile tea. Now I’m sitting here at home, realizing how difficult it is just to Be. Even with a sore stomach and zero energy levels I feel quilty. Thinking about everyday life I realize that the hours outside the nine-to-five life are pretty fully booked. I’m either on the yoga mat, planning the sequence for the next workshop, hunting for the good morning light to photograph a dish or working on illustrations for the next blog post, and then posting it. Then meditation through the headphones on the tram, or surfing the internet on the phone to look for inspiration or the latest news of the wellness world. The evenings pass by quickly by experimenting with new recipes, writing, photoshopping, meeting friends, working on some assignment for a course I’m taking at the moment, reading related literature or self-development books. And of course the house needs to be cleaned; clothes and dishes need to be washed. 8 hours of sleep guarantees that the next day will be equally productive. Moments of relaxation are scheduled around a rare day at the spa, a Sunday walk in the park or a decision to watch three episodes of the Simpsons in a row with a good conscious (the good conscious part often fails).

This has been going on for as long as I can remember. I love to do all these things and “wasting time” sitting on the couch watching TV just seems so wrong. Even reading a novel purely for entertainment has become a strange thought, after all I have so many books on leadership, self-development and healthy eating waiting to be read, and they are useful. But could it be that I’m burning my candle from both ends? Could it be that I’m too focused on performing, and forgetting to enjoy life?

The paradox is that I enjoy doing all these things and time spent on anything else seems like a total waste. I don’t want to end up playing video games for the rest of my life, when I know I have potential to do other things! I think I’ll take a moment to make a list of the things that take up my time, consider their priorities and ask how they are serving me in my development and in achieving my life goals. And I need to learn to take it Easy. Right now I’ll finish my tea and my biscuit and take a nap, in the middle of the day! But first I will watch this:

This entry was posted in: Bedroom


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